O T H E R N E S S –[…√©B3AST continued√©…)

I can’t help but wonder if back in the day to discover oneself as different was akin to being criminal even in one’s own mind. In the here and now to be “other” is more a revelation and as likely to give a sense of specialized belonging as not. These days individuality is something of a celebrated thing; and though a thing nonetheless, it is a departure from our very recent “then” where to be a “freak” was miscreant. There are laws still on the books… and I can’t help but wonder why.

So to bring forward my point: Is there less or as much intensity to the pointedly alternative, today, as there was “yesterday”? Was there a greater co-dependency then, as one was less likely to find a partner; and were partnerships all the more important and perhaps more narrow (marginalized) because of the lack of opportunities –or rather lack of ease? What about authenticity in deviation and predators? I ask because I believe we are not less vulnerable than in past decades and that exposure, acknowledgement, and familiarity are NOT substitutes for trust, intimacy, and understanding.

In fact to gain these in any relations appears to be as much of a Holy Grail as it is said to be mandatory, and it’s that very disparity that makes me feel faint with even more wonder still. Because in writing B3AST I have to ask the question if I, myself, am predatory enough to trade masochism for the prize of conscious sex? Then a whole clothesline of other questions unwinds. Why masochism, is the first one on my list…