HAPPY NEW YEAR TO US ALL. Welcome 2017!!!!
It’s been a forever. Such a one that sets my mind to wonder on Lazarus. But, though epoch making in my life, this ain’t Biblical by any stretch.
I have deviant beauty in my brain. And my cerebellum will no hold ’em. They whisper and slither to be on the page.
What next (though not necessarily where…):
Louder Faster Love
I am I am
It was supposed to be just an adventure, but then things went all epic. Yeah, things. They’re like that y’know. No warning, no nothing, and SNAP. It’s all epic, just like that.
Delicate monster assaults your sensibilities while you are in your waking dreams. Rabidly assaults your sensibilities and assails the erogenous zones of your imagination—nearly the entirety of your mind’s eye.
Delicate monster gives you roses and skulls. Delicate monster gives you busty virgins with big guns in short might-as-well-be-plaid skirts and doc marten’s. Shredded sheer black hose held up by suspenders? Delicate monster gave those to you. Fragile nuns all pale and pretty of every hue, color, nationality and place of national origin. (Yup, Delicate monster gave those.) Decked out in a perfect matte of shiny black lipstick. (Again, Dm bestowed.) Hiked up Habits to reveal zippered thigh high, high-heeled boots in vinyl or patent leather. (Check.) How is it one is so demur without panties? (Now, that’s on you.) Nothing to do with being or not being Catholic. This transcends to a more primal religion and is as it has been always the iconography of pure pornography. Say to us “virgin” and we think “whore”; say to us “sister” and we think “lover”; say to us “father” and we think “daddy”. Show us a crucifix and we expect tattoos. Where’s my converse all-stars? The red ones?! High-tops are for sissies. I want the ones I can walk on the back of; get my fishnets dirty.
I can’t help but wonder if back in the day to discover oneself as different was akin to being criminal even in one’s own mind. In the here and now to be “other” is more a revelation and as likely to give a sense of specialized belonging as not. These days individuality is something of a celebrated thing; and though a thing nonetheless, it is a departure from our very recent “then” where to be a “freak” was miscreant. There are laws still on the books… and I can’t help but wonder why.
So to bring forward my point: Is there less or as much intensity to the pointedly alternative, today, as there was “yesterday”? Was there a greater co-dependency then, as one was less likely to find a partner; and were partnerships all the more important and perhaps more narrow (marginalized) because of the lack of opportunities –or rather lack of ease? What about authenticity in deviation and predators? I ask because I believe we are not less vulnerable than in past decades and that exposure, acknowledgement, and familiarity are NOT substitutes for trust, intimacy, and understanding.
In fact to gain these in any relations appears to be as much of a Holy Grail as it is said to be mandatory, and it’s that very disparity that makes me feel faint with even more wonder still. Because in writing B3AST I have to ask the question if I, myself, am predatory enough to trade masochism for the prize of conscious sex? Then a whole clothesline of other questions unwinds. Why masochism, is the first one on my list…