O T H E R N E S S –[…éB3AST continuedé…)

I can’t help but wonder if back in the day to discover oneself as different was akin to being criminal even in one’s own mind. In the here and now to be “other” is more a revelation and as likely to give a sense of specialized belonging as not. These days individuality is something of a celebrated thing; and though a thing nonetheless, it is a departure from our very recent “then” where to be a “freak” was miscreant. There are laws still on the books… and I can’t help but wonder why.

So to bring forward my point: Is there less or as much intensity to the pointedly alternative, today, as there was “yesterday”? Was there a greater co-dependency then, as one was less likely to find a partner; and were partnerships all the more important and perhaps more narrow (marginalized) because of the lack of opportunities –or rather lack of ease? What about authenticity in deviation and predators? I ask because I believe we are not less vulnerable than in past decades and that exposure, acknowledgement, and familiarity are NOT substitutes for trust, intimacy, and understanding.

In fact to gain these in any relations appears to be as much of a Holy Grail as it is said to be mandatory, and it’s that very disparity that makes me feel faint with even more wonder still. Because in writing B3AST I have to ask the question if I, myself, am predatory enough to trade masochism for the prize of conscious sex? Then a whole clothesline of other questions unwinds. Why masochism, is the first one on my list…



Already the title has come to mind. But that’s usual. And that vague stirring of what/who it’s about. A woman, your everyday iconoclast. Prosaic with it, really (as opposed to “gangsta”). She is married and running rogue within said confines (as is her want/nature). She has determined to take her husband with her. She needs him to do “this” with her. She in fact would think of doing it no other way, or with anyone else. She did viscerally embrace her wedding vows. Those vows run on a loop in her blood through her heart.

  1. Then this is my version of Takashi Miike’s ‘Audition’ if you will.
  2. The time period would be the ’50s? Lends an immediacy and pronouncedly a danger to the accoutrements; plus perhaps an “ugly” elegance.
  3. A ZZ case file? -then I know the end as well? Unless the story changes on me. It could happen.
  4. This She takes a “night course”; adult education; psychology; let’s talk Freud -everyone can speak Freud
  5. Freud speaks S&M
  6. The plot lines run parallel (ZZ -1st person- and the She w/her husband -3rd person) until the reason for them to intersect comes with an eerie quietude.
  7. The mother hires ZZ — “I don’t want the police. Of course they’re just doing their job, but they don’t want to understand…” “What ma’am? What is it that they don’t want to understand?” “They don’t want to find out who put this sickness into my baby’s mind! That’s what I want to know! Who did this to her?” I refrained from giving a long low whistle, and kept watch on the mother from beneath my brows. “And if we find it out, ma’am? If we find out who put this in your daughter’s mind, then what?”
Total noir. Noir Psychedelia.

Fearless, Fierce and She Bites

Dare I do the novel in a month challenge? How can I not? A fellow blogger posted that s/he has long wanted to get shut of his/her inner-editor, and I have to say, “me too!” I, too, want to stand up naked and unadorned in broad daylight. *whoa* Make that candlelight. The point is free fall. We all always do what we have to do. If you have to write nearly 2,000 words a day because you said you would, then you do. Couple that with this daily post thing and it becomes the “awesomest” because the idea I saw floated in the initial email is that your daily post can be used to outline and make notes on your write-it-in-30-days novel. Well, all righty then. Let me get all these characterizations, philosophical motivations and visceral urges out into the open, icy morning light or no. Or put more succinctly, I’m in.

Hello WordPress world!

Note to Self: The beginning reclaiming of innocence is the belief in yourself to the point of acting out your dreams. The magic of it is that you’ve done it sooo many times before no matter how long ago that was. Writing, art, music, science, business, photography, et al are just expressions of that innocence that are highly valued as more outwardly communicative. But don’t let that scare you. Do them anyways.